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 From Braais to Books:
Dads Who Show Up

This Sunday South Africa will celebrate Father's Day, and it's a fitting time to reflect on the invaluable, yet sometimes overlooked, role fathers play in their children's education. Beyond financial provision, a father's active involvement can significantly impact a child's academic success, emotional well-being, and overall development. This is especially pertinent in South Africa, where many children navigate the complexities of growing up in broken homes.

The Indispensable Role of Fathers in Education

Research consistently shows that children with engaged fathers tend to perform better in school, exhibit fewer behavioural problems, and have a more positive attitude towards learning. Fathers provide a unique perspective and influence that complements a mother's, fostering a more rounded and secure environment for a child's growth.

• Academic Achievement: Fathers who are involved in homework, attend parent-teacher meetings, and discuss school matters with their children often see improved grades and higher aspirations. Their interest signals to the child that education is valued and important.
• Emotional and Social Development: A father's presence can build confidence, resilience, and a sense of security. Children with actively involved fathers often have better problem-solving skills and are more adaptable to challenges.
• Motivation and Discipline: Fathers can be crucial in instilling discipline, setting boundaries, and encouraging perseverance - all vital traits for academic success. Their encouragement can motivate children to push through difficulties and strive for excellence.
• Role Models: Fathers, through their actions and attitudes, serve as powerful role models. They demonstrate the value of hard work, continuous learning, and responsible citizenship.

Navigating Broken Homes: Practical Advice for Fathers

The reality of broken homes presents unique challenges, but it does not diminish a father's capacity to have a profound positive influence. While direct daily involvement might be limited, there are still many ways fathers can actively contribute to their children's educational journey.

1. Prioritise and Protect Your Time:

• Scheduled Visits with Purpose: If direct contact is limited, make the most of every visit. Dedicate specific time during visits to discuss school, help with homework, or read together.
• Digital Connection: Utilise video calls, phone calls, and messages to regularly check in on their school progress, offer encouragement, and discuss their day. Even a quick "How was school today?" can make a difference.

2. Be Actively Involved in School Matters (where possible):

• Communicate with the Other Parent: Foster open and respectful communication with the child's mother or guardian regarding school updates, academic performance, and any concerns. Even if co-parenting is strained, focus on the child's educational needs.
• Attend School Events: Make an effort to attend parent-teacher conferences, school plays, sports days, or prize-givings. Your presence sends a clear message that you value their education and are proud of their efforts.
• Know Their Teachers: If feasible, introduce yourself to your child's teachers. A brief conversation can help you understand their progress and areas for improvement.
• Be Present - Even in Small Moments
• Attend parents' meetings, sports days, and school events when possible. A quick message to the teacher or a phone call to say "How is my child doing?" makes a difference. It shows the child (and teacher) that the father cares.

3. Create a Learning-Supportive Environment at Home:

• Homework Help and Supervision: Offer to help with homework, not just by providing answers, but by guiding them through the process and encouraging independent problem-solving.

Help set up a quiet place to study. Reduce TV or cellphone distractions during homework time. Offer encouragement when your child is struggling, even if you don't have all the answers.

• Reading Together: Read with your children, regardless of their age. For younger children, read aloud. For older children, read the same book and discuss it, or simply read alongside them. This fosters a love for reading and learning.
• Educational Outings: Plan outings that are both fun and educational, such as visits to museums, libraries, nature reserves, or historical sites. This broadens their horizons and makes learning exciting.

4. Be a Positive Role Model and Source of Encouragement:

• Show Interest in Their Learning: Ask open-ended questions about what they're learning, what excites them, and what challenges they face. Listen attentively to their responses.
• Emphasise Effort, Not Just Outcomes: Praise their effort and perseverance, even if the outcome isn't perfect. This teaches them resilience and the value of hard work.
• Share Your Own Learning Experiences: Talk about your own educational journey, challenges you faced, and how you overcame them. This humanises the learning process.
• Instil a Love for Learning: Show your children that learning is a lifelong adventure. Be curious yourself, read, and engage in new experiences.
• Model Respect and Discipline
• Children watch how their fathers handle stress, resolve conflict, and treat others. A respectful, calm, and responsible father teaches lifelong lessons that extend beyond the classroom.

5. Address Emotional Needs:

• Be a Stable Presence: Even from a distance, strive to be a consistent and reliable figure in your child's life. Fathers who don"t live with their children can still contribute. A weekly phone call, voice note of encouragement, help with school fees or uniforms, or simply asking about test results - all of this counts.
• Listen Actively: Encourage your children to share their feelings, worries, and successes. Provide a safe space for them to express themselves without judgment.
• Offer Emotional Support: Reassure them of your love and support, especially during challenging times.

6.    What If the Father Is Absent?

We acknowledge that not every child has a present or involved father. In these cases, male teachers, uncles, grandfathers, family friends, and mentors can step into this vital role. Schools and communities can also create father engagement programmes, where male role models are invited to speak at assemblies, attend career days, or volunteer.

7.    Conclusion

This Father's Day, let's recognise that a father's positive influence on education is not limited by marital status or geographical distance. It is built on commitment, communication, and a genuine desire to see their children thrive. By actively engaging in their children's educational journeys, fathers can shape not only their academic futures but also their character, confidence, and capacity to become well-rounded, successful individuals.